by Peter Berryman
Shocks and Mufflers Revisited
Here's a quote from last September's Whither Zither:
Once I drove out [Madison's] East Washington Avenue and spoke into a recorder, reading every written word I could spot. I transcribed it later into about eight pages of "shocks mufflers lane ends merge right bus stop rummage sale fri sat sun unleaded leaded diesel coke 12 pack lavoris pabst tow away zone..." We even wrote a song with that gold mine of mindless roadspeak, called Shocks and Mufflers.
I was reminded of this goofy project two days ago, when I walked down Washington Boulevard instead of Washington Avenue, in Marina del Rey CA instead of Madison WI, doing the same thing all over again fifteen years later. This time the exercise was inspired by a song that I found in a cool little book published in 1933 called Early Songs of Uncle Sam, by George Stuyvesant Jackson. First, here's some of my catch:
Win a day trip anywhere in the world. Yacht Service Company. Food to go. Fine spirits. Banquet and catering. Enroll now for fall. 2 hour parking 8am to 6pm except Sundays. Jolly Roger Motor Hotel by the Marina; extended stays available. Bait shop for lease. Sports medicine yoga pilates.
Lunch special $4 rice soup salad. Physical therapy. Right lane must turn right. Cashier 24 hrs Chevron fast pay. 2.149 regular unleaded. Maritime Communications marine electronics compasses sales service. City bus. Cleaners and launderers quality you can count on. Resist drugs and violence -- drug abuse resistance education. Clothes shoes and toys only, thank you; www.dare.com. Take us out to the ballgame.
Skin care and electrolysis. Fine wine and spirits wine selection block ice groceries. Side parking. Psychic reader advisor. Union Ice Company. Bud Light Marina del Rey. This facility contains chemicals known by the state of California to cause cancer. Designated smoking area. No parking 7:30 to 9:30 am Tuesday street cleaning. Summit Automotive. One hour service dry cleaning laundry fluff and fold expert alterations. Drive thru. Stop the car tax.
Property of city of Los Angeles no trespassing violators will be prosecuted. Financing provided by Bank of America. Premises under surveillance. Marina International Motel and Bungalows. Public parking. Arrowhead Mountain Spring Water. Two bedroom one bath includes one car garage.
Main shutoff valve if bell rings call fire department. Suspicious activities are reported. No trespassing or loitering; bird conservation area. $4747 '95 loaded smog 4x4 Cherokee. Angi's Petite Spa European skin care waxing body treatment please use side door. Mystical Teachings of the Chassidic Masters weekly classes. Yacht and ship brokerage. Grill and Rat Pack Lounge open for lunch and dinner.
Word-gathering walks are fun; you should try one. The song that inspired me to amble down this arbitrary Blvd with my tape recorder was published in 1841 in the New American Singer's Own Book by M. Kelly, according to Mr. Jackson. Unfortunately, the lyricist is left anonymous and the music is left to the imagination:
As Rhyming's The Rage
As rhyming's the rage, a song I will try
All the world's telling something, and why should not I?
In my daily walks through the various streets
I've taken note of the things that I meet.
I read all the bills as I pass through the throng,
And I think I can work them up into a song.
Refrain: To every one, whether foolish or witty,
There's a fund of amusement to be met in the city.
This house and lot to be let upon lease;
Miniatures taken at four dollars a piece;
The whole of this stock selling under cost;
A child three years old was yesterday lost;
Stock for sale in the Clam Shell Bank--
A volume of poems by a lady of rank. (refrain)
A caution to the public against trusting
my wife,
Who has left my bed and board -- 'tis true, upon my life--
Absconded my 'rentice, and him I'd had you shun,
For he walked away--he's too lazy to run.
My brindled cow has got off of her track--
Five Dollars reward for bringing her back. (refrain)
Southern funds wanted--Gold and silver bought;
An account of a duel that has just been fought;
To be sold at auction, without more ado,
Some second-hand furniture, better than new.
Tobacco, snuff, and fine segars--
A boy run over by the railroad cars. (refrain)
Dr. Price, Physician--ring the bell--
Leghorns hot-pressed--straw bonnets cleaned well,
Swaim's Panacea for the cure of all ills;
Also Dr. Brandreth's vegetable pills;
And if you're sick, and naught else will heal you,
Just take a steam bath, and a dose of lobelia (refrain)
Gowen, wholesale dealer in spirits and wine--
Ready made coats--new pants superfine--
Lost, by a poor man, a ten dollar note--
Some thief's stolen from me a new frock coat.
To be let, with the fixtures, this capital store;
No connection at all with the barber next door. (refrain)
Five hundred dollars, by way of a fine,
To produce a blacking equal to mine;
And if you want rain for wheat and corn,
Dr. Espy's the man to raise a storm.
Clams and oysters dish'd up well--
Stew'd, fried, roasted, or in the shell (refrain)
A new invention applied to locks--
For sale, an assortment of Yankee clocks--
Important news by the last night's mail--
Bologna sausages and fine Scotch ale,
Dyeing and scouring done by steam--
A patent secured for my washing machine. (refrain)
Double X ale and fine new beer--
The piano-forte and guitar taught here--
Mineral water and fine ice-cream--
A frigate is building to go by steam.
And now I've brought my song to an end,
And I hope you are pleased with the lines I've penned
And I think you'll agree, whether foolish or witty,
There's a fund of amusement to be met in the city.
To me the specificity in this song is enchanting. Appropriate to the subject of mundane detail, Early Songs of Uncle Sam ends with a very short chapter called The Folklore of the Future, in which George Jackson speculates about a future compiler of the songs extant in 1933. He imagines that this historian, "After reading some of the more wretched songs about Old Glory... is going to call the patriotism of the age noisy and meaningless..." He will find other songs "...either hideously sentimental or, if humorous, too forced to be funny." When he comes upon songs with "references to bootlegging or to the activities of the [Women's Christian Temperance Union], he will break into laughter and leave a benighted generation to a peaceful grave." But he will also find "certain startling likenesses" to the songs and goings on of his own time, and will wonder if things ever change much.
"Whereupon he will begin to see that his real study, if any, lies in the superficialities of life, not in the truths eternal."
Bibliography: Early Songs of Uncle Sam, George S. Jackson, B. Humphries, 1933.