Blank-Blanker Verse
"Blank-Blanker" (that's BLANKER, not BANKER) could be "wheat farmer" or "shoe salesman" or "song writer" or "drug dealer" or "stump grinder" or.... It could also just stay as "blank blanker." With very few changes the gender could be switched. I used a working melody when writing this silly song that's a lot like the verse melody of "So Long It's Been Good To Know Ya." The meter is just "ba-BUMP ba-ba-BUMP ba-ba-BUMP ba-ba BUMP."
BLANK-BLANKER
A Generic Job-Song
Hello everybody, I'm so glad you came
My name's unimportant but (blank) is my name
Now let me explain my profession pour vous
For I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
My father himself never let me forget
He didn't approve of (blank-blankers) he met
He spoke of alternatives I should pursue
Now I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
My mother confided with devilish joy
"Son, I almost married a (blank-blanker's) boy
And that's why (blank-blankers) upset you-know-who"
Now I'm a (blank blanker) and that's what I do
My uncle said say, you'll be made in the shade
If you would enlist in the (blank-blanker's) trade
Now he's a professor of law at Purdue
And I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
My grampa did live on a (blank-blanker's)
pay
When (blank-blankers) weren't respected they say
He ended up homeless in Kalamazoo
Now I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
I was a tree trimmer when I was quite young
But one rainy evening I slipped off a rung
For fifty-five feet like a football I flew
Now I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
There may be a job more specific than mine
Like squishing the corks into bottles of wine
But I think my job is particular too
For I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
The men they are jealous and tease me a lot
The women pursue me and say that I'm hot
You really need help if you think that's all true
For I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
I go to (blank-blanker) conventions and
such
I do enjoy schmoozing and keeping in touch
And sometimes I write for (Blank-Blanker's) Review
'Cause I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
There's nothing as long as a (blank-blanker's) day
At night I'm exhausted, what more can I say
I lie in the tub and I read the shampoo
For I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
Oh I can keep up with the (blank-blanker)
blokes
I know prob'ly hundreds of (blank-blanker) jokes
I did learn the handshake and got the tattoo
For I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
Now some say that Monday's a terrible curse
But I have a feeling that things could be worse
I do have a sense of relief when I'm thru
But I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
The tools I use most are computer and mouse
Now half of the time I can work at my house
I click and I scroll and I type till I'm blue
'Cause I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
It didn't take long for to find me a wife
For such is the lure of a (blank-blanker's) life
As matter of fact I have had quite a slew
For I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
My spouse said the chairs are all broken
sweetheart
The sofa has done come completely apart
I said oh my goodness; I'd go get the glue
But I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
Could I teach (blank-blanking), it has some appeal
But that's not the same as (blank-blanking) for real
Would I be successful I haven't a clue
For I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
If things were reversed and if you would
be me
You'd be a (blank-blanker) 'cause that's who you'd be
For you would be me then and I would be you
And I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
My calico kitty's a (blank-blanker's) cat
My turquoise chapeau is a (blank-blanker's) hat
Each one of my boots is a (blank-blanker's) shoe
'Cause I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
And I have for breakfast my (blank-blanker)
Crunch
Two (blank-blanker) sandwiches I eat at lunch
My dinner most often is (blank-blanker) stew
for I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
I don't fear the day the economy tanks
As long as there's life there will always be (blanks)
As long as there's (blanks) I'll be (blanking) a few
For I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
But just like most jobs in the country these
days
There could be improvement in one or two ways
There's no health insurance for me and my crew
But I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do
Now WalMart does (blank-blanking) who woulda thunk
I'm getting a passport and packing my trunk
They outsource (blank-blanking) to France and Peru
And I'm a (blank-blanker) and that's what I do